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I live in the “ghetto” in Baltimore City.  I go to church in Baltimore City.  I work with children who are growing up  in Baltimore City.  I am from hicktown Bedford, Pennsylvania.  I’ve been here for going on 3 years soon but sometimes cultural shock still tugs at my heart.  Maybe it’s not cultural shock, I’m not sure what it is, many times I think we get desensitized to our enviroment.  Here you get used to bad
kids, kids without fathers, kids without mothers, 5 year olds running the neighborhood by themselves, older brother’s and sister’s having to care far too much for the younger ones, church just becoming a babysitting service for the community.  Out of the city kids that come to our church, maybe only 5 of their parents or grandparents also attend on a regular basis and that is being generous.  it was so full b/c of Father’s Day.  So I stood in the back for awhile until some of my favorite city kids came in and tried to sit in the front row like the children always do.  Well, we had a special choir so those seats were reserved, I went and got the kids and ushered them to a row farther back and sat with them.  They’re normal kids, brothers and sisters elbowing each other, complaining b/c we weren’t having children’s church and they were so “bored.”  But for the most part they behaved but they weren’t paying attention to the sermon, they’re under 10, I think it’s impossible to pay attention that young.  One of the little girls pulled my arm around her and leaned on me and made the other little girl mad b/c she couldn’t do the same.  But the end of the service came and a normal altar call was made, I said nothing to these kids but in a second flat one of them stood up to go and all of their brothers and sisters followed after.  I don’t know what goes on in their home life, I have met their Mother and she does love them but things are still messed up.  Tell me, how does it make sense that the minute an 8 year old girl knees hit the altar she begins to cry?  What is in her heart that hurts that bad?  I’ve known these kids since I came here and I’m about to leave and nothing has changed for them.  It just breaks my heart, we went to a kids revival a few months back and at the end of the services each night our kids would be crying, they are just babies, why do they have to feel pain so badly?

3 responses to “City Kids Tears”

  1. wow… thats about all i got. I will pray that God multiplies his love through you to love on all those kids. I can’t even imagine the pain… o my

  2. I agree with Denise, “Wow.” Thank you Melissa for sharing your heart with us.
    I have thought similar things when I help out at a day care for low income families close to my house. Some of these 2 year olds seem so solemn. It just doesn’t seem right. When I can make one of them smile, it makes me feel like their world just might turn out ok.

  3. Melissa,
    I work in inner city Jackson, MS with very similiar kids and it never gets easier seeing them go through and see things children should never have to see. I suppose that as much as the cycle of poverty and pain will likely never go away and the tragedy of that, it makes our hearts soft to struggle and to empathy and, in that, to love. You have gotten to see and unlike most, paid attention and taken seriously the intensity of life for these kids. I pray that God uses that insight to prepare you for what He has for you in Africa. I’m excited to have you on our team.